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Lyric of the Week: EXPLODED UNIVERSE


What’s to be done

On a day when spring is here

But the warmth won’t come

What’s to be done

When I sit in my usual writing spot

But the words don’t come

What’s to be done

With twenty thousand ideas all trying to get out

But I capture none

What’s to be done

When it’s time to make something of myself

Yet I’m feeling numb

How does one go about picking up the pieces

Of an exploded universe?

How does one go about building a city

Between the mountains of blessing and curse?

What’s to be done

Forty years down the road

And the race is not yet run

What’s to be done

When the one you consider the love of your life

Says she needs to be re-wooed and re-won

What’s to be done

When she reinvents herself so blatantly

In front of everyone

What’s to be done

When it’s the end of the world as I know it

And I feel stunned

How does one go about picking up the pieces

Of an exploded universe?

How does one go about shifting into high gear

When every setting is reverse?

How does one go about marshaling forces

When all the armies have dispersed?

And how does one go about finding a new place

In an exploded universe?

Ooh, thunder and rain

Something to ease the pain

Tornadoes and hurricanes

Something to keep my mind off the pain

It wasn’t supposed to end like this

It was supposed to be the highest heights, not the deepest abyss

What can I tell you, dear G-d in heaven

It was supposed to be forever, not eighteen and seven

What’s to be done

When the summer heatwave won’t quit

And everything withers in the sun

What’s to be done

When you get to do all you want

But none of it seems fun

What’s to be done

When all the memories seep in

After all that’s come and gone

What’s to be done

When all you want to do is shut it off

But it’s all very much still on

And how does one seek and find some sense of comfort

When the levels have sunk from bad to worse?

How does one find completion in a chorus

When not all has been finished in verse?

How can one take over the world with music

When the band isn’t even slightly rehearsed?

And how can I go about picking up the pieces

Of my exploded universe?

©2019 The Hesh Inc.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

These lyrics date back to the summer of 2006, not long after I returned to the Jersey Shore in the wake of my second divorce. I was trying to pick my life up and get it back together after one of the largest cataclysms I had experienced to date. It was extremely difficult to go back to the actual part of the world where my newly minted ex-wife and I had such a history prior to our moving to Los Angeles, and it seemed that every time I passed another tree or rock or beach view, there was another piece of our history to go along with it. These circumstances really hampered any attempt I made to get back into the Jersey Shore's music scene, and I ultimately moved away in October 2008.

The music to this song has something of a blues-waltz rhythm, similar to several other songs I have written and performed. Some of Peter Himmelman's work echoed in the back of my mind as I noodled on the piano to come up with the music. I had thought to include this on a projected album about my post-divorce travails, but I thought the better of the inclusion and the album. I may yet perform it if the situation is right, but in general, I'm trying to steer away from focusing on songs about exes ... except, perhaps, in this forum.

#originallyrics #divorce #recovery

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