Well, Big Jake rolled his '61 Mack into the parking lot
After driving 24 hours straight, he damn well deserves a stop
State trooper takes a look around and nervously wipes his face
Folks from all across the region are pouring into the place
Country Bob’s in the bunker gettin’ into one of his down-home moods
Ol’ Bob’s wife does the walk of life takin’ care of two Chicago dudes
When the band hits the stage the beer bottles fly
and there’s dancing on the table
Lettin’ out all their energy like horses out of a stable
Them three Texas good ole boys are stompin’ out them Houston blues
Some Nashville punk joins ‘em onstage ‘n they swing into Blue Suede Shoes
I’m on my way back home to see my Mary Jane
Oh take me home sweet home back to the country lane
Old Man Esteridge sits alone polishing off Jack Daniels
Keeps a close eye one the crowd so they won’t fly off the handle
He packs a mean .357 and if anyone comes near
The business end of the magnum’ll give ‘em a reason to fear
The inevitable shot rings out and the crowd howls
Bob cuts the lights to the stage and Esteridge is heard to growl
I’m sick’n’tired of hearin’ that rock’n’roll crap from city boys
Bring on that bluegrass mama ‘n cut out that city noise
There’s the sound of a crack of a rawhide whip somewhere in the bar
The guys’n’gals are gettin’ close to the wail of the steel guitar
I’m on my way back home to see my Mary Lou
Oh take me back to the country where the sky is always blue
Some rhinestone midnight rambler all dressed up in cowboy chic
Gets turned away by a pretty belle who don’t like his kind of freak
She says you’re the weirdest varmint this side of Tennessee
Get those dirty paws of yours far away from me!
This long blonde haired redneck kid wavin’ a rebel flag
He turns to me ‘n says we don’t like no Yankee rags
Well, I buy the kid a beer ‘n introduce him to the belle
And it looks like love at first sight, oh well what the hell
The devil went up to Memphis, he was lookin’ for a soul to steal
He paid no mind to what came up from behind ‘n got
crushed under Big Jake’s wheel
Jake brings his booby prize back home to the queen of hearts
‘N says We know how to handle these here punks in these here parts
And Billybob’s braggin’ how he built his own Cadillac
Says he was workin’ up in Dee-troit ‘n
snuck the parts one by one out the back
And I lean over the bar and listen to what’s goin’ down
I yell HOT DAMN! and buy the whole joint another round
Well, the band kicks into overdrive and belts out one last song
And everyone in the joint is bouncin’ in their seats ‘n singin’ along
It’s a song everybody knows down in the mother lode
Take me home to the place where I belong, country roads
©2024 The Hesh Inc.
Another night in that part of the USA where the lower Midwest meets the upper South, in my imagination when I was doing my service in the IDF some 6,000 miles to the east in the later 1980s. A bar straight out of The Blues Brothers is the setting, and you don't have to look to hard to find bits and pieces of Glen Campbell, Johnny Cash, Charlie Daniels, John Denver, Juice Newton, Lynyrd Skynyrd, ZZ Top, and The Hitcher strewn throughout the song. The music was nicked from the old Kenner SSP Smash-Up Derby TV commercial from the early 1970s. Never recorded or performed.
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