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What’s going on?

Where did all the inspiration go?

What happened?

What became of all the copious flow?

For a while it was like the dam burst

I couldn’t contain all the energy

Now it feels like it’s all gone

Like there’s nothing left inside of me.

I’m not feeling it

Not feeling it today

I’m not feeling it

How much longer will it be this way.

How did it get like this?

I was on such a prolific roll

Why did it just dry up?

It’s as if it was swallowed whole

I thought the ice had melted

The blockage dissolved and dissipated

Now it feels frozen out again

The light and heat darkened and faded.

I’m not feeling it

Not feeling it right now

I’m not feeling it

Got to get that feeling back somehow.

I don’t want to say

I’m not feeling it anymore

I don’t want any self-fulfilling prophecy

I don’t want to brick up the door

I don’t want to go back

To the bad old way things were

I want to be where the music is

That place where the future is assured.

And then I won’t have to say ...

I’m not feeling it

I didn’t feel it, but that’s all past

I wasn’t feeling it

But thankfully that feeling didn’t last.

©2024 The Hesh Inc.

"Not Feeling It" - original AI art by The Hesh Inc.
I want to be where the music is, that place where the future is assured.

This one dates back to the summer of 2007, shortly after I got my first [day] job as an editor for a pharmaceutical advertising agency. In the year or so leading up to that event, I had been both underemployed and still smarting from my divorce and subsequent move from Los Angeles back to the East Coast, and those sources of agitation led to a huge, prolific burst of songwriting, which yielded some of my sharpest, most pointed lyrics ever. Agitation has a way of doing that ... looking back at my life story I can see that most of the bursts of songwriting coincided directly with various periods of adversity in my life (army service, divorce, etc), and they seemed to dry up as soon as my circumstances started to improve ... which also accounts for why so many of my songs seem to be about adverse situations. So this song came about just as I was beginning to feel the well dry up again.

That was almost 12 years ago as of this writing, and I have yet to recover from the dry spell (there have been a few productive periods but they were, and are, few and far between). It is something I struggle with every day and from week to week.

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