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Updated: Feb 5

I should never have left this place

I should never have abandoned its warm embrace

I did what I thought at the time was best

How could I have known it was all a big test.

Go back to where you got up and went

Go back to where the message was sent

Go back east where your inspiration sings

There was nobody telling me to do these things.

What was going through my mind when I left here behind

How could I have ever gone away

I was hell-bent on going while all the time knowing

That I had such good reasons to stay.

Big party, big sendoff, goodbye and good luck

Does he know what he’s doing, tut-tut, cluck cluck

A shame he has to do this, is what they all said

But I believed it was right so I just pushed ahead.

There was that pleading look in your eyes

There was the truth, but I believed only lies

There were reasons I thought I knew

But in the end there was only you.

This breaking of heart while being apart

How could I ever have gone away

Devil may care, you were here, I was there

Though I had such good reasons to stay.

The darkness, the doubt, the dealing without

They can’t reach us now

The pain and the fear, the loss and the tears

No, they can’t reach us now

The love and the laughter, the happy ever after

That’s what matters now

The being together, now and whenever

That’s all that matters now

Well I’m back and I’m not leaving again

What I know now, if I only knew then

But there’s no point in complaining or making a fuss

It’s just like chasing a missed bus

I waited it out for a year and four months

And when the chance came, I grabbed it at once

I made my way here through desert and snow

And so help me G-d, this is as far as I go.

And now it all seems like it was all a dream

How could I have ever gone away

I’m home, I’m here, you’re close by, you’re near

These are the reasons to stay

What are dreams, what are goals, without love, without soul

How could I have ever have gone away

Wrongs made right, through songs and light

These are the reasons to stay.

©2023 The Hesh Inc.

Daddy's home.

I wrote this when I returned to California in 2010. I had left four years before for economic reasons; I had no work prospects in Los Angeles after my glorified temp job folded and there were opportunities in my field back east. I eventually landed in the world of pharma advertising and did well for myself—a good job, a nice apartment, a great car, a community I liked living in—but I was acutely aware of what (i.e., who) was missing: My beloved daughter, who was living with her mother on the west coast. So after several years of constant heartache, I took a leap of faith and went back to LA. I didn't know at the time that the economic situation was still just as lacking, and ultimately I'd have to move back east again; when I arrived, for all intents and purposes, I was there to stay. I still wish I could.

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