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Daily Lyric: SPEED IT UP, JACK

speed it up, Jack

why do you keep on creeping

like you got nowhere to go

speed it up, Jack

there’s a line behind you

that doesn’t appreciate your going slow

speed it up, Jack

there’s a green, it means go

don’t confuse the color of the lights

speed it up, Jack

go on improve your moving

this is no time for seeing the sights

there’s only one lane and it’s a no-passing zone

but you’re driving like there’s no one there

maybe you’re showing off the big fancy car you own

but guess what, buddy—no one cares

the sign says 45 but you’re doing 30

what are you trying to be, a snail?

better watch the road and not those pretty birdies

‘cause you’ve got a parade of rage on your tail

speed it up, Jack

move that sloppy jalopy

you’re making us all turn blue

speed it up, Jack

shut off your slicky doohickey

and while you’re at it, turn your signal off, too!

speed it up, Jack

stop your yakking, get cracking

some of us got someplace to be

speed it up, Jack

cut your jive and start driving

before someone ends up wrapped around a tree

I bet that on the highway you’re one of those Dicks

that don’t ever get out of the left lane

I bet you think you speeding when you’re doing 56

and everyone else drives like they’re insane

I know your kind, the type that’ll say

“speed limit only means you can’t go faster!”

well there’s one of you and 30 of us, so get out of the way

or else there’s gonna be a real disaster

speed it … speed it … speed it speed it speed it

speed it up, Jack

all your stalling and crawling

is driving us out of our minds

speed it up, Jack

don’t brake it, just shake it

we’re not operating on your time

speed it up, Jack

shake a leg, we beg you

it’s not like you’re stuck in a rut

speed it up, Jack

shake your ass, we ask you

Will you be so kind as to MOVE YOUR DAMN BUTT!

©2024 The Hesh Inc.

"Road Rage" - original AI art by The Hesh Inc.
You’ve got a parade of rage on your tail.

This song dates back to the early 2000s, when my daily commute consisted of a half-hour drive from Interlaken to Atlantic Highlands, NJ. The road north of Sea Bright up to Sandy Hook is a mere 2-lane stretch with a 40- to 45-mph limit, but G-d forbid you should get stuck behind a timid or overcautious driver (who are worse than speeders, in my experience), steering their car with their pinky while yakking it up (or TEXTING!) on their cell phone ... you know how you will react.

Never recorded or performed, but in consideration for my projected A Driver's Life album.

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