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I’m going out tonight

In search of something I can’t place

It’s out there but out of sight

An entity without a face

I feel the night outside calling me

I can’t figure out what it wants me to do

But its power is enthralling me

And it’s a force I’m going to pursue

Oh, I want to feel alive tonight

Oh, I want to touch life tonight

I’m going out tonight

Looking for the lifeline that’s long been hidden

To turn all that’s wrong into right

And I won’t take the wrongs as given.

Baby you know sometimes I feel so paralyzed

Sometimes I’m left feeling so frozen

With the dream in sight but out of reach, I’m tantalized

And I wonder why I’ve been chosen

To walk through the trash, among the ruins

Sifting through the wreckage looking for that spark

And listening for long-gone sounds and archaic tunes

That echo through the old buildings from the beach to the park

Oh, I want to feel alive tonight

Oh, I want to touch life tonight

I want to break this routine that adds up to suffocation

I’m tired of watching the fruits of my labor keep shriveling

I don’t want to be surrounded by decay and desolation

Tonight I need to be among the living.

Procrastination, procrastination

Leaves me feeling like nothing gets done

Frustration, vexation

About the things I lost but should have won

Spend a lifetime falling back

Farther and farther from where I want to be

Railroaded, diverted, sidetracked

All sorts of hidden forces stalling me

Oh, I want to feel alive tonight

Oh, I want to touch life tonight

Well I drove these streets a hundred thousand times

In search of something to reverse the negative

I’m not just going to sit around waiting for the moment to strike me

Tonight I’m just going to go out and live.

© 2007 The Hesh Inc.

Heshy on a foggy night.
All upon a foggy night.

This, Track 10 (9 in the online version) of my album Soul In Exile 2: Jersey Shore Baby, was born out of endless noodling on the piano during the time I lived in Ocean Grove, NJ. It was the time of the "hell years" of neighboring Asbury Park, when the beach and boardwalk were so utterly abandoned that even the criminals and muggers had given up on the place (which, ironically, made it practically safe to walk—which I did quite often). I would walk there, sometimes by myself, sometimes with my significant other who had grown up in the area, and ache for the way things used to be there. But after too many times doing that, it got old, and it became more productive and uplifting to seek out places where there was actual action happening, not just ghosts of the past.

Musically, the song owes much to Lou Reed and U2, with snatches and flashes of Elton John, Paul Simon, and Joe Cocker, all rolled into one. What puts it over the top, though, are the vocals of my former Polyester bandmates Christine Ghilino and Wendy Horn ... what angels.

Chris & Wendy
Chris & Wendy ... such voices ...

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