Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Mary take your scissors and
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Mary work your magic and
Cut the mullet
I used to be so hip and cool
Cutting edge trendsetter, leader of the school
I wore my hair like this when it was all the rage
Now all it does for me is make me feel my age
Cut the mullet ...
Moderate in front, short-ish on the sides
Long in the back, my hairstyle was my pride
I used to get such compliments, people would turn their heads
Now it’s just snide comments, stares, and laughs instead
Cut the mullet ...
It’s silly for a grownup to look like a teen
I’d look so ridiculous if I tried to make their scene
But I’d look just as stupid with my hair cut short
Like some wimpy bizkit or a chilly pepper dork
I don’t have to sport any one look
I don’t have to fit the rules in anybody’s book
But at the very least, the proportions should fit
So Mary do your thing, let’s get on with it …
Cut the mullet ...
©2023 The Hesh Inc.

Another song about my hair! In the 1990s I pretty much kept my hair like this ... a "fro-mullet" that was poofy and curly all around, like it is naturally when it grows out, but also long in the back. It was my rock'n'roll style and it was very much of the times. Sometimes, though it got to be too much, and that's when I'd go visit the hair stylist. I mention her by name in this song ... she was the first person to date who REALLY knew what do do with hair like mine. Unfortunately she didn't stick around for long because she had her eyes on a managerial career elsewhere, so my time as her customer lasted only about two years. She was there when I finally decided to lose the flagrant mullet, though, and so I wrote her this song. She was flattered.
I still like my haircuts to have a little extra length in back, though. That was, and still is, my rebellion against my father's insistence on having the barber buzz the back of my head every time I went for a haircut when I was a kid. He wanted me to do it before I got married the first time, too, and I refused. At my second wedding I had my hair in a ponytail, and he privately threatened to boycott the wedding if I didn't cut my hair; my mother told him what to do with that attitude. And so help me, I will NEVER buzz the back of my head EVER AGAIN.
(No music for this one yet, in any event.)
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